It’s About Time

You may have read that being successful starts with showing up on time and being prepared. I think these ideas are wonderful, and you can really help your children by teaching them to follow these rules.  Most of us have a tendency to be lazy. I really admire people who are constantly creating and never seem to stop getting things done. For the rest of us it’s a constant battle against procrastination. If you are not familiar with this word, it means putting off what you really should be getting done. And so, to teach your children how to avoid procrastination, you are going to have to get things done when they need to get things done.  Teaching your children how to be successful is very important, but for a long time your children will not appreciate your attempts. So rule number one is not to be obnoxious and overbearing about your behavior and your opinions. When they see that you are organized and getting things done, they will eventually get the message. Here are some suggestions. You may have better ones.

1. Keep a calendar. Every day you should have a clear picture of what you must do that day and when you must do it. If you must be somewhere at 1 pm, you should know how long it will take you to get there. You should also know the route. You should know what you need to do before you leave home. Involving your children in tasks like washing dishes, doing laundry, and cleaning the house is very reasonable. Their responsibility should be based on their ages and their own requirements like homework, hygiene, and social activities. Kids need to play, after all. I don’t count using a cell phone as worthwhile play. I’m afraid I waste much too much time on the phone myself, and I hate seeing kids with their faces in their phones from dawn to bedtime. However, using your phone to keep track of your schedule is not a bad idea. The more detail the better. Kids’ schedules should include a specific time for schoolwork every day. Keeping a detailed schedule is a great first step in getting things done.
2. Be very specific about supervising their activities, particularly their schoolwork. Ask questions and don’t let them use vague language. What did they actually learn today? What specific assignments do they have? When are they due? Older kids sometimes get assignments that are due in two weeks. It is important not to let your kids wait until the last minute to get these assignments done. Break up large assignments into smaller chunks. What part can they do today? Tomorrow? The next day?
3. Starting a project is good. Finishing a project is better. And neatness counts. Encourage your kids to do more than just the minimum that is required. Are your kids participating in class? Be sure to communicate regularly with the teachers. If there is a problem with communicating because of language, do not use your child as a translator. Children do not have the ability to understand everything that adults are saying. And sometimes they will not tell you what the teacher is really saying and will not tell the teacher what you are really saying! If you don’t have someone who can interpret for you, speak to the teacher or someone in the school administration. They may have solutions for you.
4. None of this will work without your children’s cooperation. Sit down and explain what you are trying to do to improve your children's chance for success in life. Ask your children if they will participate in this plan. Ask them for ideas. Then listen. Be prepared to write down – or have your children write down – everything. Remember that even young children can have ideas. Of course, younger children need more guidance and fewer complicated plans. Don’t overwhelm your child in your enthusiasm to begin these new guidelines.
5. Reading should be a part of your children’s daily routine. From the time they are old enough to understand your voice, you should be reading to them every day. As they get older, have them read to you. Eventually, all children should be reading something every day. It doesn’t matter what they read. Even comic books contain vocabulary and subject matter that may help your child. And it doesn’t matter what language you read to your child, or your child reads to you. Eventually, every child going to an American public school learns English very quickly and just as quickly refuses to speak any other language. If English is not your first language, speak to your children and read to them in the language you are most comfortable in. You are not doing your children any favors by using English at home if it is not your first language.
6. Being prepared is a habit. Whatever your children need to take with them in the morning should be ready the night before if at all possible. That includes sports equipment, clothing, and homework assignments. If your children take lunch, they should be involved in getting it ready in the morning.
7. The best way to avoid procrastination is to prioritize. That means making a list of what has to be done in the order it has to be done. Playing on a phone is never first. TV is never first. If you can get your children to agree to prioritize, you’ve already won. Good luck and much success!